


Once Upon a Bad Shakespeare Parody

by tooshortforthis



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A little bit of violence, Alternate Universe- Shakespearian, F/F, F/M, Fluffy Bonding with Henry, Gen, Hook Bashing, Minor Character Death, One Sided CS, Rewriting Shakespeare, people being oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7358878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooshortforthis/pseuds/tooshortforthis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Regina Mills' mother kills her first love, and banishes her, the logical thing is clearly to go to the forest to find her father. The father who has been banished for 15 years, and is on a permanent camping trip with his banished-courtier friends. Not the best plan, but that doesn't stop Regina and her older sister, Zelena, from assuming new identities and going on an extended hike to the Enchanted Forest. If they happen to make friends, and maybe fall in love on the way, well, Regina won't complain.</p>
<p>Or, that weird fic where the characters from Once Upon a Time are actually the characters in As You Like It, there are lesbians, and Rosalind is actually likable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Regina sighed as her sister prattled on about some lord who had created some scandal, one that was somehow different from the scandal someone else had created last week. She let her thoughts wander to the only other person who actually liked her nowadays, Daniel. Even the thought of the stable boy made her lips quirk into a soft smile, she couldn’t wait to sneak away to see him tonight. Daniel was the only person in her life who expected nothing of her, and she found his company a welcome distraction from her home life, which left much to be desired.

“Regina!” Zelena waved a hand in her face exasperatedly. “Were you even listening to me? Mother has requested our presence!” The demanding redhead tugged impatiently at her arm, and Regina couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She loved her sister to death, and they had been inseparable almost as long Regina could remember, but sometimes she was a little much.

Regina allowed herself to be dragged out of the room and towards the cause of her problems,  _ Cora _ . Cora was Regina and Zelena’s mother, but she only ever acted like Zelena’s mother. She fawned over the older redhead, but nothing Regina did was good enough. It hadn’t always been that way though. In the very deepest recesses of Regina’s memory, she could recall a time before Zelena and her father had come to the palace. Regina’s father had ruled over the court, and he and Cora had doted on little Regina, the perfect princess. That was long past though, Regina had since learned what a fickle thing her mother’s love was.

“Zelena! My darling you look simply ravishing!” Cora immediately began to gush over her older daughter as they entered the room. Her mother clucked disapprovingly as she turned to look at her younger daughter, “Regina, I really wish you would do something else with that hair of yours. The braid does  _ nothing _ to age you darling. You look fourteen.” Cora gave her a disapproving stare before returning to her place next to her husband, the Duke.

Duke Rumplestiltskin was a rather oily looking man. His grey-streaked hair was always worn slicked back. His beady brown eyes always looked like they were appraising either something or someone, as if trying to determine their exact worth. He was famous for the deals he made with the criminals of the kingdom. They always benefitted him the most, even if the criminals believed they were getting exactly what they wanted. He also had an uncanny talent for always knowing exactly what you were thinking. Regina privately thought that he and Cora were  _ perfect _ for each other.

The Duke finally acknowledged the girls’ presence, “You look lovely dearies,” he gave them a smile that showed his rotting teeth. “Your mother and I thought you might wish to watch the wrestling match today.”

“Oh thank you Father!” Zelena squealed and ran to hug him. “Oh this is  _ so _ exciting! Don’t you agree Regina?” Zelena turned to Regina, her excitement plastered all over her features.

Regina had no interest in watching men beat each other up for sport, occasionally killing each other. She found the entire process rather barbaric, but she didn’t want to ruin Zelena’s good mood. Zelena’s good mood was Cora’s good mood as well.

“Oh yes! It will be simply delightful!” She gave her very best fake smile and hoped desperately that Cora wouldn’t catch it. Cora appeared satisfied with her answer however, and Regina could feel her shoulders relax slightly.

“Come!” Zelena giggled, “Let’s go! We need to get the best seats!” Regina rolled her eyes, and refrained from pointing out that their seats would be reserved.

When all of the spectators had settled, the matches began, it was all very boring for Regina. Everyone knew that the best wrestler in the kingdom was the ruthless dark knight, Cora’s favored wrestler. He was the one accepting challenges, and there wasn’t a youth in the kingdom who could best him. Regina zoned out for the majority of the matches, only jerked out of her reverie by Zelena’s high-pitched squeals.

“Isn’t that the stable boy? Oh how exciting!” Regina felt her neck crack with the force of her looking up. Sure enough, Daniel stood in the challenger’s place. He looked so small and weak next to the dark knight that Regina thought she might be sick. She didn’t want to watch, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. She watched horrified as the gong rang, and the dark knight rushed at Daniel. Daniel dodged him, and she could breathe again, but the feeling was only temporary. The dark knight charged again, and this time he didn’t miss. Daniel slammed against the wooden wall of the pit, the snap of bones breaking echoed around the expectant silence.

Regina surged out of her seat in a daze. She didn’t remember how she got to Daniel’s side, only that she was there, cradling his broken body and sobbing.

“Wh-hy?” She rocked him back and forth in rhythm with her sobs. “Why would you do this?” She held him tighter to her chest, as if holding him tight enough would prevent his soul from leaving his body.

“I wanted to be enough for you.” He spoke quietly, panting in between his words. His last word was cut off by a violent cough that sprayed blood over his drab woolen shirt.

“Oh Daniel,” she placed her forehead on his, and stared into his soulful brown eyes. “You were always enough.”

He gave her a weak smile as the last of the light drained from his eyes. He slumped onto the ground, staring blankly into the cloudless summer sky. She reached out with trembling fingers and gently closed his eyelids, concealing his unseeing eyes.

An instant later Zelena was by her side, she grabbed Regina’s arm gently and led her away. Regina was silently thankful that Zelena had decided not to ask. She slumped on her bed, and stared at the ceiling until sleep finally overtook her.

Regina was awakened again when the door to her and Zelena’s chambers burst open and her mother stormed in. Regina glanced outside at the dusky sky, and realized that several hours had passed. Hastily, she clambered to her feet to stand in front of her mother, who had the Duke at her side. Zelena ran into the room as well, though her face was flushed with exertion, rather than the anger of their mother.

“You are banished.” Rumplestiltskin’s oddly high voice cut through the eerie silence that had followed the clamor of her mother’s footsteps. “Two days from now, if you are found within five miles of this court, your head shall be separated from your neck.”

“And why is that?” If Regina had been in her right mind, she probably wouldn’t have taken that tone, but she was aways from her right mind at that moment.

“BECAUSE OF YOUR DISPLAY EARLIER YOUNG LADY!” Cora had decided to take the explanation on herself apparently, Regina mused bitterly, although this had probably been her idea. “DON’T THINK I DON’T RECOGNIZE INSUBORDINATION WHEN I SEE IT!”

Rumplestiltskin cut in for his wife, shooting a concerned glance at the throbbing vein on her forehead. “What she means to say, dearie, is treason. You are clearly not loyal to the crown.”

“I’ve never been disloyal to you,  _ mother _ .” Regina narrowed her eyes dangerously, “Even when you banished my father, pushed me into the shadows, and ridiculed me. A disloyal thought never even passed through my head, and this how I am repaid.”

“You expect us to take your word for it, I suppose.” Cora waved her hand dismissively. “The matter is final. I’ll not have you leeching off our resources any longer.” She took Rumple’s arm, and together they swept out of the room.

Once they’d left, Regina sank to her knees as what had happened truly sunk in.

“Oh darling sister,” Zelena looked concerned as she gathered her onto a bed, “What will we do?”

“ _ We _ ? You haven’t been banished.” Regina gave her a slightly reproachful look. Cora wouldn’t banish her precious  _ good _ daughter. Not in a million years.

“Well of course I have.” Zelena looked genuinely confused. “I wouldn’t just leave you to you fate. What kind of sister would I be then?”

“A sensible one.” Regina grumbled, what was Zelena thinking? She could have a good life in the palace, and Regina wasn’t worth throwing it away over.

Zelena gave her an unimpressed look. “Make yourself useful and start planning our disguises while I finish packing.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena finally reach the Enchanted Forest.

**Chapter 2**

Regina shifted uncomfortably and picked at the fraying hem of her shirt. Why had she thought it was a good idea to dress as a man? She couldn’t remember in her current sweaty and uncomfortable state. She and Zelena stood in front of the Enchanted Forest, many were rumored to have fled from her mother’s tyranny to its safety, including her father. She took a deep breath before beckoning for Zelena to follow her into the forest.

The cool canopy of the trees brought welcome relief from the noon sun, which shone through the leaves and dappled the forest floor. She sucked in a deep breath and put one reluctant foot in front of her, leading them farther into the forest dark forest.

“Regiiiiina,” Zelena’s whine came from somewhere behind her. “We can’t carry on like this. We need to settle sometime, and my feet are about to fall off.” I couldn’t take her whining right now.

“It’s Graham now, remember  _ Marian _ ?” Regina snapped, not bothering to conceal her impatience. They  _ had _ to get as far as possible, she couldn’t risk having her sister’s blood on her hands as well as Daniel’s.

“Regina- Graham,  _ whatever _ ,” Zelena spoke gently, placing her arm softly on her bicep, “We’re safe, we can’t keep running forever, and you’re no good to anyone if you collapse from exhaustion.”

She had a point. Regina sunk down near the base of a tree. “You’re right. We need to find a place to stay.” After a few minutes, they got back up and journeyed farther into the forest.

Zelena and Regina staggered on for most of the day, until they were dead on their feet. Zelena caved first, sinking down next to a small creek and massaging her feet. Regina couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her sister’s antics. She was such a drama queen. Regina was tired too though, so she slumped against a nearby tree to rest.

After resting for a couple of minutes, the peace was broken by two voices. “Thanks again for this Killian, I’m not as young as I used to be.” The voice was slightly raspy, as if the speaker were indeed elderly.

“No problem mate.” The second voice was definitely younger, with a sleazy vibe accompanying it. “Anything for Emma’s family, you’ll put in a good word I hope.” Regina couldn’t help feeling a bit sorry for this Emma person.

“You know I will, Mary-Margaret and I want to see Emma settle down just as much as you.” The voice sounded put upon, and Regina couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. Emma sounded like quite the character. The voices were getting closer, and Regina exchanged a glance with Zelena, this was as good an opportunity as any to inquire after lodging.

Two men came into view. One had cropped light brown hair, streaked with gray. He had clearly been rather handsome in his youth, but his skin was now weathered and permanently wrinkled. The other was dark haired, he had a scruffy beard. What appeared to be kohl lined his eyes, and his getup was entirely composed of leather. Regina couldn’t help but think it rather frivolous and unnecessary. Not to mention ridiculous.

“Excuse me!” Zelena had gotten to her feet, and was approaching the strangers. “My name is Marian, and this is my brother Graham. Do you know of someplace where we might be able find lodging.” Regina quickly clambered to her feet as well, rushing to catch up with Zelena. She didn’t trust the younger one in the slightest.

“I’m David, this is Killian.” The older man spoke. “I have a spare room if you can afford to rent it.” He glanced at them dubiously. Regina was about to rip his face off for doubting her financial status, but she remembered that she was intentionally dressed as a peasant.

“How much?” Regina pulled out the pouch of coins that hung at her hip. The contents jangled loudly, and she let a superior smile play at her lips.

David gulped visibly, “Threepence per night.” He looked at her nervously, as if fearing her reaction at his price. She simply pulled out a shilling.

“This should cover four nights in that case.” David nodded quickly and stuffed the coin in his pocket.

“The house is this way,” he indicated vaguely at some trees. “Thank you again Killian, You’ll come for dinner tomorrow?”

“Aye Mate.” The young man gave Regina one last suspicious look before heading in the opposite direction. Regina shed no tears over his departure. He gave off a slightly creepy air that put her on edge.

David watched him for a few moments, before turning and loping down an overgrown path. Zelena hurried after him, clearly eager to get to a real bed, while Regina walked slowly behind them. She was too concentrated on attempting a manly stride to be able to walk quickly. They walked for a good five minutes, and Regina was just about to ask if they were lost, when David stopped abruptly, causing Zelena to nearly run into him.

“We’re here.” He gestured to a modestly sized cabin. The plaster walls were painted a neat white, and had roses of all colors growing up the sides. Surprisingly, it had two stories. The cabin was surrounded by enclosed pastures where sheep were grazing peacefully. The top half of the front door was open, allowing the scent of apple pie to drift into the country air. A small child’s delighted giggle was carried towards them by the light breeze. The peace was broken suddenly by her sister’s squeal.

“Oh how quaint! You have a lovely home.” Zelena gushed at David, who gave an indulgent smile.

“Would you believe me if I said it was better on the inside?” He grinned teasingly, “Come on, you can meet my family.” Regina suddenly had the horrified thought that Emma was probably the child they’d heard earlier. What kind of creep was Killian?

They entered the house, and David walked over to an elderly lady who was standing over a wood stove. She didn’t look much like a peasant, Regina thought. Her grey-streaked hair had obviously once been a deep black, her skin was pale as Snow, and her lips impossibly red.

“David! You brought friends.” She gave him a slightly unimpressed look. Regina couldn’t help a smile at the scared look on David’s face.

“I brought  _ renters _ . Graham and Marian have already paid for four days in the spare room.” He pulled the shilling from his pocket and held it up for her to see. She quickly took the coin and dropped it into a jar next to the sink.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you dears.” She gave them a cheery smile. “Dinner will be ready soon if you’d like to have a seat at the table.” She gestured at a table on the other side of the room. The wood was clearly old, but pristine. “You can get settled after dinner. Emma!” Regina was slightly startled by the change of tone, but soon realized that she was no longer talking to them.

“What Mom?” A harassed-looking blonde woman entered the kitchen, which was beginning to feel slightly cramped. She had bags under her vibrant green eyes, and was balancing a toddler on her hip. He was clearly about to start screaming, the boy had a fistful of her blonde curls, and appeared to be tugging at them rather painfully. “I’m trying to feed Henry.”

“Feed! Feed!” The young boy chanted excitedly, pounding on his mother’s shoulder with a small fist. She winced, and began bouncing him frantically up and down. The older woman looked displeased.

“Get him fed by dinner then, David can set the table.” The man looked up from where he had been determinedly studying a crack in the wall.

“Of course.” He scuttled over to a partially open drawer and began counting forks. Emma swept out of the room, murmuring soft things in Henry’s ear. The woman turned to them with a sigh. She wiped her floury hands on her apron and grimaced.

“I’m sorry about her. She was up early this morning. I’m Mary-Margaret, but you can call me Snow, everyone does.” She led them over to the table, and sat them down in two of the four seats, then she dragged an old bench out of the corner. “How’s Killian doing, David?”

“Oh he’s well, I invited him for dinner tomorrow.” David looked up from where he’d been laying a place setting.

“Good, good. Don’t tell Emma though, else she’ll make an excuse not to be there.” Snow bustled back to the oven to remove a loaf of bread.

“Excuse me, but isn’t Emma married?” Zelena had decided to put her foot in her mouth apparently, Regina felt like smacking her. She’d  _ really _ been looking forward to a bed.

“Please excuse my sister’s rudeness, she can be so-” Regina’s hastily constructed apology was cut off by Snow.

“Oh it’s perfectly understandable.” Snow waved her hand dismissively, “To answer your question, no. She’s not married, nor was she ever. It’s probably best you don’t bring up Henry’s father up either. Touchy subject.” Regina couldn’t help but feel a little bad for Emma, whose parents seemed perfectly willing to tell her life story to perfect strangers. Zelena however, appeared to be eating up the sordid gossip. Before Snow could say anything else, Emma reentered the room, sans Henry. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, and Regina was once again struck by how beautiful Emma was.

“Did you need any more help?” She looked uninterestedly around the room, seeming unsurprised at the two complete strangers sitting in her kitchen.

Snow sighed again, “No dear, why don’t you entertain Marian and Graham while your father and I finish up.” Emma nodded, and sank into the chair next to Regina. She looked exhausted.

“So what brings you to the Enchanted Forest?” Regina assumed she was trying to make small talk, seeing as her face hadn’t changed since she’d entered the room.

“We came to seek the former Duke’s advice.” Zelena blurted out the answer before Regina could open her mouth. She shot her sister a disapproving glare. That was a recipe for more questions that they didn’t need. Thankfully, they were saved by dinner, which chose that time to be ready. They ate in relative silence, and retired to their respective rooms soon after.

Zelena was quickly asleep, however, as tired as Regina was, she couldn’t fall asleep. After an hour of staring at the ceiling in the dark, she gave up, and padded barefoot out of her and Zelena’s room, wearing only her coat. She crept out of the small house, and sat down on the soft grass of the yard. She was alone for a few minutes before someone plopped down next to her.

“You’re not a man.” Regina started, and turned to face Emma, who was sitting cross-legged with Henry on her lap. She wasn’t looking at Regina, but staring at the twinkling night sky, absently stroking Henry’s dark brown hair.

“Ye-yes I am.” Regina cursed the stutter in her voice, and the way it climbed an octave.

“I have a lie detector you know. Even if I didn’t, you’re not a very convincing man.” She turned to look at Regina, gesturing at her absently. “You even sit like a woman.”

“Are you going to tell your parents then?” Regina couldn’t keep the desperation out of her voice. She wanted this room, and there was no way they’d be allowed to stay when it was revealed that they had lied.

“No.” Regina turned her entire body to face Emma in surprise.

“What? You won’t?”

“No.”

“Well why not?” Regina couldn’t keep the confusion out of her voice, they’d  _ lied _ . Why was Emma protecting them?

“Would you prefer that I did?” Emma sounded amused, and a small smile played on her lips.

“Of course not!” Regina sounded indignant and she knew it. “I just don’t understand.” Nobody had ever done something for her aside from Zelena and Daniel, that a complete stranger would help her was completely mind-boggling.

“I don’t think you’re going to hurt my family, and it’s really none of my business.” Emma’s tone was light, as though she was trying to alleviate the tension in the air. The silence was broken by a third voice.

“Mama! Mama! I is finding it!” Henry babbled and waved his arms excitedly, “I is finding the little spoon!” The smile that lit up Emma’s face was brighter than all of the stars twinkling above them.

“Good job baby! Can you point to it?” She bent over him, her hair falling on either side of their faces, obscuring them from Regina’s view. She couldn’t help but feel like an intruder on their private moment.

“Should I still call you Graham?” Regina was startled out of her reverie by Emma’s soft question. She sat startled for a few awkward moments, before choking out her answer.

“Re-Regina. My name is Regina.” She was glad that the dark obscured the blush that colored her cheeks. What was she doing? What was  _ wrong _ with her?

Emma gave her a soft smile from where she stood, holding a sleeping Henry. “See you tomorrow, Regina.” She turned and walked back toward the cottage, leaving Regina to stare after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma/Regina bonding, jealousy, apples, and dinner.

**Chapter 3**

Regina did not wake until midmorning the next day. However, she did not feel very well rested. Her dreams had been haunted by Daniel, his last words echoing in her ears. The bright sun shone through the thin curtains of the small room. Regina took the opportunity to survey her surroundings, having not seen them in daylight.

There was a thin layer of dust coating the dresser, which, while well-constructed, had not been sanded down properly. The curtains were a thin pastel linen, the floral print having faded significantly. It went perfectly with the quaint vibe of the rest of the house, and Regina could feel her lip curling into a sneer. Pastels were  _ long _ out of fashion.

She dressed in her attire, which had been borrowed from some hapless servant boy. The clothes were ill-fitting, but comfortable. She descended the narrow stairs to the kitchen where Snow was kneading what appeared to be a loaf of bread.

“Graham!” The elderly woman’s smile was about as sunny as the day. Regina forced herself to smile back, remembering that she was supposed to be a commoner herself. Commoners were often unnaturally happy in Regina’s experience. “How did you sleep?”

“Very well, thank you Snow.” She grabbed a small loaf from a basket on the table. “Where is everyone?”

“Oh, David had to go work on repairing the fence,” Snow dusted the flour off her hands and gesture towards the back of the house, “And Marian’s out back picking apples. Emma’s just getting her started, but she’s going to feed the sheep soon. Would you like to join her?” Regina thought that feeding sheep sounded like a horrendous way to spend her time, however she got the impression that she was expected to work. Besides, Emma was the most tolerable adult in this family.

“That sounds lovely Snow. I’ll go find them now.” She flashed her a fake smile before making her escape towards the back of the house.

The back garden was a small fenced-off plot of land. It was crammed with every type of produce Regina could imagine, and poorly organized because of it. The plants were overgrown, and the weeder had pulled out only the bare minimum of weeds to ensure the survival of the plants. The apple trees were near the back, and as Regina approached she could hear Zelena prattling at Emma.

“- I mean, red apples are nice and all, but I prefer green ones.” She turned the corner to see Zelena, her normally pale face looking unusually flushed, and her vibrant hair clinging to her sweaty forehead.

“You prefer  _ everything _ green, Marian.” Regina interrupted her sister with an amused voice. Zelena whirled around, and smiled with relief.

“Graham!” She collapsed into Regina dramatically. “Thank goodness you’re here! It’s so  _ hot _ !” Regina shared an amused glance with Emma over Zelena’s head.

“ _ Actually _ sister dear,” Regina couldn’t help the obnoxious grin on her face, “I’m here to help Emma feed the sheep.” Zelena looked like she wanted to cry.

“You’re leaving me here  _ all alone _ ?” She gave her sister a pleading look. “Why can’t Emma do the sheep by herself?”

“I don’t know if I want to risk disobeying Snow.” Regina gave her sister a little wave before offering Emma her arm. “Ta-ta, dear.”

Once they were out of earshot, Emma turned to Regina. “Thank you for the rescue.” Regina couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her then.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. We really do need to feed the sheep.” She replied loftily, struggling to keep a straight face.

“The sheep don’t talk my ear off.” Emma grumbled, pulling Regina over to a couple of large buckets filled with grain. She handed one to Regina, before picking up the second one herself. Regina couldn’t help but appreciate the view of her straining arm muscles.

They set off toward the pastures, silence dancing awkwardly between them. Finally, Regina opened her mouth to ask about something that had been bothering her. “Why don’t you like Killian?” Emma let out a long-suffering sigh.

“Did Snow ask you to pester me about this or something?” Regina was quick to deny that.

“What? No!” She gathered her breath before continuing, “I just met him earlier, and heard part of his conversation with your father.” Emma’s face softened slightly.

“I don’t  _ dislike _ him, I just,” She paused, running her free hand through her hair. “I wish that he would take no for an answer and quit pestering me.” She exhaled loudly, “It doesn’t help that he has Snow and David on his side as well.”

Regina chose her words carefully, “Forgive me if I’m being rude, but he seems like a good match.” She paused, but when Emma said nothing, she continued. “He’s aesthetically pleasing, hard-working, and interested in you. I don’t really understand the objection to him.”

Emma gave her a sad smile.“I don’t love him though, and I’d really rather love the person that I’m spending the rest of my life with. My parents are so in love, and I always wanted to find someone who loved me that much when I was a little girl.” She paused to glance at Regina, “And now that I’m here, it feels like they don’t want that for me.” She was silent, but her gaze begged Regina to understand.

Regina couldn’t help the overwhelming urge to give her a hug. She set down her half-empty bucket, and wrapped Emma in a bear hug. Emma stiffened in her arms, before relaxing into Regina, bringing her arms up to clutch the other woman. Regina felt Emma’s head settling into the crook of her neck. Emma’s breathy whisper tickled her ear. “Thank you for listening to my stupid problems.”

Regina involuntarily tightened her grip. “Your problems aren’t stupid.” She whispered urgently. She gave Emma a last squeeze, in an attempt to drive her point home, before releasing the younger woman.

The two separated, each suddenly taking interest special interest in the long grass. They resumed their chore, and returned to the cottage early in the afternoon. Snow met them at the door with four freshly picked apples.

“Since you’re finished early, why don’t you take two apples to David and Killian.” Snow suggested as she shooed them back out the door. “Emma can show you some of the forest.” Emma rolled her eyes at her mother, and Regina couldn’t help but think that her face was priceless.

“Whatever Mom,” She shouldered her way inside, “Just let me get Henry.” She nodded at Zelena, who was nursing a water glass at the table. She returned a second later with Henry balanced on her hip.

“Must you take Henry?” Snow sighed, looking disappointed.

“The sun will be good for him.” Emma’s expression was too innocent to be believable. Regina stifled a laugh at Snow’s hassled look, the woman was annoying, and Regina could be petty. Emma swept over to Regina, who was holding the small basket of apples. “See you later Mom.” She took Regina’s proffered arm, and together they strolled toward the tree-line.

Once they were outside Snow’s hearing, Regina posed her question. “Why didn’t Snow want you to take Henry?” Emma chuckled lightly, before taking a bite of her apple.

“The plan was probably for David to occupy you and force me to talk to Killian, but with Henry there, Killian can’t get me alone. Isn’t that right buddy?” The last part was directed at Henry, who was busy playing with Emma’s hair. He looked up and giggled delightedly at the attention, before returning to the golden curl in his small fist.

They strolled through the forest, munching their apples in silence. “So where exactly are we going?” Regina couldn’t help but ask, the forest was nobody’s property afterall.

“They’re fixing a perimeter fence, and the broken part is more accessible through the forest.” Emma threw the core of her finished apple into the underbrush.

“Ah.” Regina was no longer focussed on the question however, and more on the dribble of juice on Emma’s chin. Before she could stop herself, she reached over and swiped it away with her thumb.

“Sorry,” Regina knew that she was beet red at this point. “It was bothering me.”

“No worries.” Emma shrugged even though her cheeks were tinged with pink. “At least you aren’t tugging on my hair like  _ some _ people.” She joked with a pointed look at Henry, who didn’t even look up at the mention of his name.

Regina felt herself relax, and she shot Emma a grin. They trudged side by side through the woods, until they could hear men talking. Slowing their approach, Emma watched the underbrush, looking for something. Abruptly, she stopped at a place where the plants had been cleared away to form a narrow path to the perimeter of the property. The duo picked through towards the fence, careful not to drop the apples or Henry.

When they came out on the other side, Regina could see David and Killian hammering some boards over a gap in the fence.

“WE BROUGHT SNACKS.” Emma yelled over the incessant pounding. David and Killian immediately stilled. Dropping their tools and turning to face the newcomers.

“Hello love.” Killian’s smile actually gave Regina shivers, and Emma’s smile faltered slightly. “Mate.” He gave Regina a curt nod, and Regina had to wonder what his problem was.

“Thank you.” David accepted the apples from Regina, handing one to Killian. “Killian, this is Graham.” He gestured at Regina, “He and his sister are renting our spare room.”

“Pleasure.” Killian did not look pleased, in fact, he looked like he’d smelled something rotten.

As if sensing the tension, Emma cut in. “Well this has been nice, but I promised to show Graham some of the forest. Keep up the good work!” With that she grabbed Regina’s arm and tugged her back into the forest. When they reached the main path, Regina spoke.

“Well that was an abrupt exit.” Despite her bewilderment, she kept her voice nonchalant. Emma’s huff surprised her.

“Just because you’re pretending to be a man, doesn’t mean you and Killian have to have a pissing contest over me.” Emma sounded frustrated and disappointed, and Regina began to rush to think of a suitable apology. “ _ Especially _ with my  _ dad _ there. I mean,  _ really _ Regina? That was so unnecessary.”

“I, um, I don’t know what you’re referring to, but I’m sorry.” Regina spoke softly, trying to appease Emma. She decided not to ponder why she wanted Emma to not be angry with her.

Emma stopped scowling at Regina’s apology. “It’s okay, you probably didn’t even know. Killian can be like that.” She laid a soft hand on Regina’s arm, and gave her tired smile. “I’m just really done Killian’s bullshit.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help with them.” It surprised Regina that she truly meant what she said, she wasn’t the most compassionate person.

“You’re helping by being here.” Emma gave her a wide smile, “It’s nice to have someone who understands, even if I have to put up with him.” Regina returned her smile with a soft one of her own, steadfastly ignoring the warm feeling that coiled in her stomach.

They walked idly through the forest for about an hour, with Emma occasionally pointing out landmarks to help with navigation, before Regina got the courage to ask about the duke.

“Oh yeah! That’s what you two are here for.” Emma looked slightly embarrassed. “About five minutes up the path, it intersects with another one that leads to the duke’s camp. Did you want me to take you now?” She looked like a puppy, eyes wide and eager to please. Regina hated to say no, but she should probably bring Zelena to the big reveal, and she didn’t want to go see her father while acting as someone else.

“I should probably bring Marian with me. Perhaps we will go tomorrow.” Seeing Emma’s face fall, she rushed to make her feel better, “Thank you for telling me how to find him though.” Emma’s smile was worth it.

“No problem!” She glowed like the sun at Regina’s meager thanks, before glancing critically at the sky. “We should get home if we want dinner.” Regina nodded and they turned around. Trudging homeward.

Halfway back to the cottage, Regina noticed that Emma was shifting Henry’s weight more often than not. “I’ll carry him.” It wasn’t a question. Emma looked reluctant, but her exhaustion won out. Biting her lip anxiously, she transferred Henry, who was close to sleep, into Regina’s arms. Regina was surprised by how heavy the small boy was. Once Henry was safely balanced on Regina’s hip, they continued walking. Regina noticed how heavily Emma’s steps were becoming. She offered an arm, that Emma sluggishly took. By the time they reached the cottage almost all of Emma’s weight was leaned on Regina, she stumbled every few steps, and Regina was a little afraid that she wouldn’t make it to the cottage.

They did make it, Snow met them at the door. She took Henry out of Regina’s arms, rushing him into the adjoining room where his crib was located. Killian was glaring enviously at Regina, but she ignored him in favor of wrapping an arm around Emma’s waist to support her into a chair.

Dinner conversation was stilted, Emma hardly said anything because she was so tired. Most of it consisted of Zelena and Snow prattling to each other about nothing in particular. The rest of the occupants were awkwardly silent, and Killian had gotten into an uncomfortable staring contest with Regina.

After dinner had petered to a stop, Snow tisked at Emma’s overexertion before leading her to her bedroom. Zelena had a question for David about the garden, and they too left the kitchen. This left Regina alone with Killian. She was about to make her great escape, when he stopped her.

“I’d like to speak to you mate.” She started at the sudden noise. What could he possibly want from her? She was far above his level. He continued when she raised a questioning eyebrow. “I don’t know what yer deal is, but you need to stay away from  _ my _ girl. And she is mine, don’t ever doubt that.” Regina could not believe this guy. He set women back about a hundred years.

When it became obvious that Regina would not dignify him with a response, Killian huffed and spit out a farewell. “Thank Snow and David for the dinner, I need to get home.” She gave him a slight nod, before ambling up to her and Zelena’s room, pondering why on Earth he thought  _ she _ was a threat to his future with Emma. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Henry was heavier than he looked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get the reunion scene between Henry and Regina! You know, that scene I procrastinated for three chapters.

**Chapter 4**

Regina and Zelena had settled into a routine with the small family, and found themselves constantly extending their stay, and putting off the inevitable meeting with the duke. They had been renting the room for ten days now, though Snow and David had stopped accepting their payment after the eighth day, citing all the work that they did around the farm was payment enough. Regina felt guilty about not visiting her father, but every morning she woke to Snow’s homemade breakfasts and Emma’s company. She simply couldn’t resist accompanying Emma around the farm, it turned out that feeding the sheep was actually a quality pastime. Well, walking around the farm with Emma was fun. She still couldn’t care less about the sheep. Henry had also grown on her. His simplicity had an irresistible charm, there had never been a choice about whether to like the small boy. Even Snow and David, for all their idiocy, had grown on Regina.

It was the afternoon of the eleventh day when their little routine was broken. Regina and Emma returned from their daily sheep-feeding expedition to find a stranger at the kitchen table. He was seated with Zelena and Snow, munching some fresh-baked apple tarts.

“Graham! Emma!” Snow greeted them cheerily, and gestured at two vacant seats where tarts were waiting for them. “How are the sheep?” Regina honestly couldn’t tell if Snow was being excessively cheery, or if she was only at her normal cheer level.

“No different than they are most days.” Regina raised an eyebrow as she sat down, “They are, after all, sheep.” Regina was aware that she was being rude, but this stranger put her on edge. It didn’t help that Emma had rushed to get Henry, leaving her without backup.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, my name is Sir Robin Hood.” The stranger finally spoke, and Regina couldn’t keep her eyes from narrowing. Robin was Daniel’s brother, and Daniel hadn’t exactly sung his praises. In fact, Robin had made Daniel absolutely miserable by refusing to educate him or give him his inheritance. Before she could snap at him however, Emma came to sit next to her. She had clearly heard Robin’s introduction, and recognized his name from Regina’s stories.

She gave Regina’s hand a comforting squeeze underneath the table, “What brings you to the Enchanted Forest, Sir Robin?” She asked politely, “It certainly is a long way for a courtier such as yourself to travel.”

Robin gave a tight smile. “Perhaps you have heard, Lady Zelena ran away in the wake of her sister’s banishment.” His hands fidgeted and he looked pained, Regina felt no sympathy however. Payback. “The duchess was very upset, I was ordered to retrieve Lady Zelena.” Regina couldn’t contain her scorn at this pitiful man.

“Why  _ you _ ?” Regina felt her upper lip curl into a sneer. She couldn’t imagine he was Cora’s best tracker.

Robin was clearly uncomfortable with the question. “My ah- my late brother angered Duchess Cora.” He shifted awkwardly in his chair. “She thought this mission to be fitting retribution.”

Regina couldn’t help but revel in his discomfort. If anyone deserved to suffer, it was certainly the  _ honorable _ Robin Hood. “I’m afraid that we have yet to stumble upon Lady Zelena, but we’ll be sure to let you know if we see her.”

“I was actually going to inquire about a room.” Regina’s fixed smile was actually hurting her cheeks at this point. Could this pitiful man not take a hint?

Before she could snap out a retort, Snow jumped in. “I’m afraid that Graham and Marian are renting our only room at the moment. One of our neighbors might have a room though.” Regina was so relieved that this  _ scum _ wouldn't be sleeping under  _ her _ roof, that she nearly missed what Snow said next. “You are probably weary from your travels though, why don't you stay for dinner?”

Robin agreed far too quickly. He was up to something, Regina was sure of it. “Thank you ma’am, that's very generous.” He gave her a charming smile before turning back to his conversation with Zelena.

Emma took the opportunity to drag Regina out of the cottage by her arm. “Are you okay?” She turned and stared searchingly into Regina’s eyes.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Regina squeezed her hand reassuringly, and gave her a tight smile. “This was just an unpleasant reminder that I need to stop procrastinating the visit with my father.” Emma had figured out who she and Zelena were a few days previously, Regina’s words had a sobering effect on the younger girl, who gave her a sad little nod.

“You'll tell me if you need anything- anything at all?” Her sincere words brought a smile to Regina’s face.

“Of course.” She nodded towards the kitchen. “We should head back before we’re missed.” Emma giggled a little bit. “ _ What? _ ”

“I don't think they'll miss us, Zelena and Robin are all over each other.” Regina’s eyes bulged out of her head.

“WHAT?” She screeched, “That bastard needs the keep his  _ paws _ off my sister!” Emma was pretty much in hysterics by now. “This is  _ no _ laughing matter.” Emma grew placating at Regina’s tone of voice.

“Of course it isn’t.” She placed a calming hand on Regina’s arm. “You're just funny when you're overprotective. Besides, based on your stories of Robin, there's no way he'd marry a peasant.”

“I’m not funny.” Regina muttered sulkily, crossing her arms.

“Of course not.” Emma reassured her, taking her arm and leading her towards the house. “We should help Snow with dinner.”

Dinner was tense to say the least. Regina alternated between glaring at Robin and silent communication with Emma. In turn, Robin exchanged heated stares with Zelena and glared standoffishly at Regina. Snow and David mostly just glanced awkwardly between Robin and Regina. There was collective relief when the nobleman left to seek board, from everyone except Zelena, who gazed longingly after him. Regina couldn't help but roll her eyes at this, because it was  _ just like _ her sister to fall in love in a matter of hours, with Regina's  _ enemy _ no less!

After he was gone, Regina fell straight into bed. Who knew glaring was such hard work? However, before falling into sleep’s embrace, she made the decision that they would visit her father tomorrow.

Regina woke bright and early, and turned to see Zelena still asleep. That was weird, Zelena was usually up before her. She shook her sister awake with a slight frown. “Get  _ up _ , Zelena!”

Zelena let out a groan. “ _ Of course _ , you choose  _ today _ to be a morning person.” Regina was slightly disturbed by this, but shook it off.

“We're going to see the Duke today.”

“Oh!” Zelena shot straight up, “ _ Finally _ ! I was beginning to think we were just going to  _ farm _ forever.”

“I  _ enjoy _ farming!” Regina cried indignantly.

Zelena smirked. “We both know that you enjoy  _ Emma _ .”

“As  _ friends _ !” Regina couldn't believe that they were having this argument  _ again _ . Zelena seemed obsessed with the idea the she was  _ in love _ with Emma. Of all the ridiculous ideas.

Zelena rolled her eyes obnoxiously. “Whatever you say, sis.” She hopped out of bed and began to get dressed. “Hurry  _ up _ will you? I thought you wanted to see the Duke today.” Regina rolled her eyes, but began to put on her disguise.

Emma was up feeding Henry, despite the early hour. “Duke day?” She asked, eyeing their nicer-than-usual attire.

“Yup!” Zelena responded cheerfully, taking a large bite of her slice of bread.

“You're sure you won't need any help on the farm?” Regina couldn't help but worry slightly over her absence.

“The sheep will survive without you for one day.” Emma retorted with a grin. “They  _ were _ alive before you arrived.”

Regina rolled her eyes, “Point taken, we'll plan on being back for dinner.”

Emma raised a doubtful eyebrow. “You sure about that?” Regina knew that Emma thought she would want more time with her father, but she hadn't seen the man in  _ fifteen years _ . She would be too emotionally drained for dinner.

“Absolutely.” She shot Emma one last smile, before following Zelena into the early-morning sunlight.

The trek to the duke’s camp was mostly silent, with Zelena occasionally pointing out a bird or flower that struck her fancy. They neared the camp by midmorning, and Regina was struck by the homey feel that the smattering of tents offered.

The Duke and some disgraced lords were sitting around a stone fire pit. They were laughing and telling stories that Regina couldn’t quite make out. Cheer was thick in the air, and everybody appeared to be in a good mood. Good, Regina thought. The Duke would probably take the news better if he was in a good mood.

She and Zelena approached, and she could feel her feet grow heavier with each step. Dread pooled in her stomach. What if he didn't want to see Zelena and herself? What if he didn't believe it was them? What if he was disappointed in her? She could see her doubt mirrored on her sister’s face as they approached the circle.

“Hello there! What can we do for you this fine morning?” Her father's voice was exactly as she remembered. Miraculously, she managed to choke out a response.

“My name is Graham. My sister Marian and I have come to seek private audience with the duke.” She was surprised that she had managed not to squeak.

“But of course, we can talk in my tent.” Her father's easy smile crinkled his already-wrinkled face. Regina and Zelena followed numbly as he led them toward a large brightly-colored tent.

The elderly ex-Duke settled himself onto a small wooden stool. He gestured for them to sit, Regina and Zelena complied, exchanging a look. The ground was hard, and Regina couldn’t help but shift her weight uncomfortably.

“So what can I do for you?” His inviting smile did little to ease Regina’s worries. She was trying to find a way to spring the whole ‘I’m your daughter that you haven’t seen in fifteen years’ thing on him, when Zelena spoke.

“We lied earlier.” She blurted, her face turning tomato red. “Our names aren’t Marian and Graham.” To his credit, the Duke didn’t seem particularly angry at them. In fact, he appeared mildly amused.

Regina managed to speak then, though it felt like her mouth was stuffed with cotton. “Our names are Regina and Zelena.” She pulled off her hat, revealing her long hair. Her face was also undoubtedly feminine when unobstructed. Zelena wiped the dirt off her face with a damp cloth she’d smuggled into her bag this morning. The Duke fell from his stool.

“Regina?” He stared at her in wonder. “Is that really you?” He reached out a shaking hand to touch her cheek, “My, you’ve grown up.”

Regina smiled tearily, “Hello Daddy.” He wrapped her in a big hug, and kept her there for several minutes.

Finally, he pulled away. Turning to Zelena, who was sitting awkwardly off to the side. He smiled gently at her, “You must be Zelena.”

“Hello.” She gave him a small smile and an awkward wave.

He beamed at her, and Regina released a breath she didn’t know that she’d been holding. “Thank you for taking care of my daughter.”

Zelena waved her hand dismissively, “She wasn’t  _ that _ much trouble.” But Regina could tell that she was secretly pleased with the compliment. They sat in silence for a few moments before Henry spoke.

“You were banished nearly a fortnight ago, where have you been?” He looked genuinely curious, and Regina suddenly felt guilty for putting off their visit for so long.

“We’re renting a room from a shepherd.” Regina explained, “We help them out on their farm in return.”

Surprisingly, Henry began to chuckle to himself at her words. “Really?” He looked as though this thought amused him greatly.

“Yes?” Regina felt herself beginning to pout, why was this so funny to him?

Once Henry had recovered slightly, he offered an explanation. “I’m sorry if I offended you sweetheart, it’s just that the thought of you doing manual labor is funny to me. When you were a little girl, you wouldn’t even clean up your toys.” This statement sent both Henry and Zelena into another bout of raucous laughter. Regina crossed her arms and pouted some more, this was  _ not _ fair.

“I knew you were full of it,” Zelena gasped for breath, her face red, “Nobody can enjoy farming that much! I  _ knew _ it was about Emma!” Regina felt her face redden, but her father jumped in before she could reply.

“Emma? David and Snow’s Emma?” He leaned in as if about to hear some juicy gossip.

“The very same! We’re staying with them, and Regina’s in  _ looooove _ with Emma.” Regina couldn’t stand it.

“We are not in love!” She snapped furiously. “Have you already forgotten about Daniel?” Zelena’s countenance changed immediately.

“Of course not,” She soothed, “But you’re allowed to fall in love again Regina, Daniel would’ve wanted you to be happy.”

“Daniel?” Henry jumped in, his brow furrowed. “Sir Hood’s son?” Zelena sighed and turned to the elderly man.

“Yes, Regina loved him, but he was killed in a wrestling accident the day Regina was banished.” Henry looked saddened.

“I’m so sorry my child,” he laid a comforting hand on Regina’s arm, “Nobody should have to go through that, but Zelena is right that he would’ve wanted you to be happy. Emma is a lovely girl,” He gave her a soft smile, “so giving and strong. I can’t think of anyone I would rather my daughter spent her life with.”

“You know Emma?” Regina’s head shot up in surprise, “How?”

Henry gave her a gentle smile, “That’s not my story to tell darling.” He put his hand over her’s, before completely changing the subject, leaving Regina to think about everything that had been said.

The hours passed quickly, and before Regina or Zelena knew it, the sun hung low on the horizon, casting a golden glow onto the clearing.

“Will you be staying for dinner?” Regina felt a bit guilty at Henry’s hopeful look, but Snow, David, and Emma were expecting them for dinner. Even if that hadn’t been the case, she was far too emotionally exhausted to eat a meal with her father.

“Snow is expecting us for dinner, I’m afraid.” Regina tried her best to act disappointed as she gathered up her things, securing her hat back on her head. “Perhaps you can stop by the cottage tomorrow to visit?”

“I should,” Henry appeared to be thinking aloud as he stroked his chin, “I’ve been meaning to visit with them anyway.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow then!” Zelena flashed Henry one last smile before tugging Regina down the dirt path, leaving Regina to wave behind her as she jogged to keep up.

“Was that  _ really _ necessary?”

“I’m hungry, and you weren’t moving.” Zelena looked completely unrepentant, and if Regina were in worse mood, she might have slapped her. As it was, she simply rolled her eyes and kept walking.

As it turned out, their timing was perfect. Snow was just setting the table as they arrived at the front door of the cabin.

“Hello you two! How was your trip?” Even Snow’s cheeriness couldn’t ruin Regina’s mood though.

“It was good.” She gave Snow a small smile as she took the forks to put on the table. “The Duke says he’ll come for dinner tomorrow.”

“Oh lovely!” Snow beamed to herself. “He’s long overdue for a visit.”

Dinner was uneventful, for which Regina was grateful. She didn’t feel like pretending to be in a good mood for Snow and Charming’s sake. Emma had picked up on this, and would occasionally direct the conversation away from Regina if she sensed it getting too personal. Regina wondered, not for the first time, where Emma had gotten her people skills, since they clearly weren’t from her parents.

After dinner, it was clear that Emma wanted to ask about Regina’s day, but seeing Regina’s exhaustion, she let her go to bed with only a whispered good night. Regina made a mental note to thank her later as she mounted the rickety steps. She collapsed into bed, only bothering with her shoes. Blackness consumed her, and she was bothered with nothing else.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of fluff... Oops.

**Chapter 5**

Regina woke up the next day to the sound of birds chirping, ugh. The birds were frequent visitors at the cottage, encouraged by Snow, who sung to them and fed them scraps. They were quaint little bluebirds that had no place screeching Regina’s ear off in the morning. Or any time of the day, for that matter. She was tempted to pull the blankets back over her head and fall back asleep, but she could tell that it was already late in the morning, and she would feel guilty if she didn’t help Emma with the sheep.

As she got dressed, the thought suddenly occurred to her that she was going to have to tell Snow and David about her secret before tonight.  _ Shit _ . She was not looking forward to that conversation. Over breakfast, she decided to talk to Emma about it first, she knew best afterall. Emma looked particularly haggard over breakfast that morning. Her eyes were underlined by dark bags, and her mouth was drawn into a thin line. Regina would have to talk to Emma about that as well.

She finished her breakfast, making an effort to smile at Snow. She was going to have to sweeten her up. A lot. Emma was waiting by the door, leaning heavily against the wooden frame.

“Careful Dear, I’ve heard that splinters in your back are very painful.” Emma’s smile was wan at best; her laugh strained. Regina took her arm gently, leading the younger woman gently into the bright sun.

“Are you okay Emma? You don’t seem well.” Regina watched the blonde’s face carefully, not entirely sure what she was searching for. Emma fidgeted and stared at her feet.

“I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well last night.” The reassurance was hollow in Regina’s ears, but she let it go for the moment, nobody ever said she was good with feelings.

“Well,” Regina flashed a playful grin, desperate to lighten the mood, “Do you want to hear about my visit with the Duke?” Emma’s smile seemed more genuine this time, and a weight in Regina’s chest lifted.

“Yes! I want to hear about everything!” Emma tone was playful, falsely pushy. She handed Regina a bucket, and dragged her toward the first sheep pen.

The two women walked side by side until they were out of earshot from the house. “Where should I start?” Regina asked, shifting her weight awkwardly.

“How about when you arrived at the Duke’s camp?” Emma smirked smugly at her, “Unless you tripped over a  _ really _ interesting twig on the way there.”

Regina fake scowled at her and swatted her bicep. “Your obnoxiousness is unladylike.” However, she was secretly glad that Emma was joking instead of acting serious.

“Whatever.” Emma’s eyeroll gave Regina the confidence to launch into her story, recounting the previous day’s events in as much detail as she could muster. She found herself hoping that Emma would somehow offer insight into how she was supposed to feel about her father, the father that she hadn’t known for 15 years of her life.

“Okay.” Emma looked at her expectantly, and Regina felt anger begin to rise up inside her. Okay? That was  _ all _ Emma had to say? She was so angry that she almost didn’t hear what Emma said next. “So how do you feel about it?”

“What?” Regina had no clue what Emma was carrying on about. She’d  _ just _ told her everything. What was Emma even asking her? She was getting angrier despite herself.

“You just told me the events of an entire  _ day _ , without once mentioning your thoughts on those events.” Emma placed a placating hand on Regina’s bicep. “So I’ll ask you again, how do you feel about it?” Regina yanked her arm away.

“Seriously?” Regina was close to shouting. “ _ That’s _ your insight? You were supposed to  _ help _ me! Not try to get me to talk about my feelings!” The blood was rushing to her face, her pail thrown aside, forgotten.

“What the hell do you expect, Regina?” Emma yelled, tossing her own bucket to the side. “It’s not like I’m some Regina expert! I don’t know what you want, because you won’t  _ tell _ me!”

“Do you have any idea how hypocritical you sound?” Regina’s lip curled into a condescending sneer. “You expect  _ me _ to talk about feelings, when  _ you _ just ignore yours! You don’t tell me  _ anything _ ! You didn’t tell me that you knew my father, you come down looking like you woke up from the grave, and then you just expect me to act normal! I thought we were friends! I thought you trusted me!” She suddenly realized that she was inches from Emma’s face, their noses almost touching.

Emma opened her mouth, clearly about to yell back, when the fight visibly drained out of her. The blonde stumbled back, and Regina resisted the urge to steady her. She was  _ angry _ damn it! “You’re right.” The admission was so quiet that Regina almost missed it. Emma raised a shaking hand, and ran it through her hair. “I need to tell you about what happened with Henry’s father.” She was shaking like a leaf, and Regina suddenly  _ really _ didn’t want to have this conversation.

“We should do the sheep first.” Her voice almost broke, and Regina wanted to slap herself.

“Right. Yes.” Emma jumped at the opportunity, gathering her bucket hastily and scurrying towards a sheep pen. Regina followed at a slightly more sedate pace, lost in her thoughts. It was a coincidence that Emma’s son shared a name with her father, wasn’t it? She shook herself, there was no use in speculating when she was about to find out the answers anyway. With that thought on her mind, she rushed to finish the sheep.

When their buckets had been put away, Emma led Regina towards the grassy hill where they had talked that first night. They settled next to each other, and sat in silence for a few moments. Suddenly, Emma spoke.

“I met Neal when I was sixteen, almost seventeen.” She paused, releasing a shaky breath. “I was stupid then. He spun this tale, said his father had abandoned him in favor of power, that he was alone in the world. I fell in love with him. He told me that we could make a life, get married, be a family.” There were tears gathering in her eyes as she spoke, and despite her best efforts to stay angry, Regina found herself taking Emma’s hand into hers. “He lied to me. He ran away with a noblewoman six months after I met him, the night before our wedding.” Emma’s narration stopped as she began to sob into Regina’s shoulder. “S-sorry,” Emma swiped angrily at her tear-stained cheeks, “I haven’t talked about this since-” Emma paused to gulp in air, “Since I went to your father.”

“You went to my father?” Regina’s head was a battle between incredulity and anger, the anger won out. “Is there a reason that I am  _ just now _ hearing about this?” Regina hissed into Emma’s ear, she felt a surge of satisfaction at the shiver that ran through the younger woman.

“Do you want to hear the story or not?” Emma sounded annoyed, and Regina realized that she would learn more by backing off. She still would not dignify Emma with a verbal response, preferring an unimpressed eyebrow raise.

Emma released a shaky breath, “After I woke up and found Neal gone, I couldn’t face my parents. Your father was going to officiate the wedding, and I decided to inform him of the change of plans.” She paused to see if Regina would speak, but she was met with silence. “Initially, I only planned to inform him that the wedding had been cancelled, but when I arrived at his camp he asked me what had happened. It all just came tumbling out, and he counselled me on what to do. He didn’t try to force me to look for Neal, or go back to my parents. He helped me get a job.” Emma wiped some stray tears from her cheeks, “He even helped me get revenge, in a way, Neal’s name was slandered throughout the forest, almost nobody will do business with him.” Now she looked over at Regina expectantly. There were a few beats of awkward silence, before Emma broke it. “I’m sorry for not telling you,” She shifted uncomfortably, “It’s just hard for me to talk about.”

Regina had no clue how to respond, she had a feeling that offering empty platitudes wouldn’t be a good idea, but she also had no clue how to deal with tragic backstories. The policy where she’d grown up had been strictly ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’, and while she had technically asked, she just didn’t know. Regina had the sudden realisation that she had been going off on her thought-tangent for an embarrassingly long time, desperate to save face, she blurted the first thing that came to mind. “So is Henry named after my father?”

Emma’s eyes twinkled with a mixture of amusement and anxiety, “Yes, he is.” She waited for a few beats to see if Regina would say anything. “... Is there anything else you want to know?”

“No.” Regina stared intently at Emma, letting her squirm under her watchful gaze. She found her gaze drawn, not for the first time, to Emma’s pink lips. She wondered idly what it would be like to kiss them, before stopping herself abruptly. Emma had just trusted Regina with her sordid past, now was  _ not _ the time to be kissing her.

“Should we be getting back?” Emma’s eyes darted around jumpily, she appeared to be avoiding Regina’s eyes, and an odd blush stained her cheeks. Her hands fidgeted with a blade of grass. Regina realized that she would rather sit here and watch Emma than return to the cottage.

“We could.” Regina leaned back and stared at the cloudless sky, “But you asked me a question, and I really prefer your company to that of Snow or David.” Emma’s dazzling smile confirmed that she had made the right choice.

“You can just say that you like me.” Emma grinned smugly. “It’s okay, I like you too.” She settled herself next to Regina, propping her head on her elbow as she turned to face her.

Regina focussed very pointedly on Emma’s face. “Seeing my father was strange, it’s like no time has passed, he’s just like I remember him.”

Emma’s encouraging smile did funny things to Regina. “That’s good right?”

“I feel like I’ve changed too much though, part of me guilty that I went on living without him, but then I realized that he went on living too. Is it selfish of me to wish he hadn’t?” Regina sucked in a deep breath, half afraid to look at Emma.

“Of course not Regina.” Emma’s gaze was far more understanding than Regina deserved. Regina couldn’t help herself any longer. She surged forward and kissed Emma soundly. She on the verge of pulling away, when suddenly Emma’s mouth was moving against hers. Emma wrapped her arm around Regina’s waist, and the brunette felt herself being pulled down on top of the younger woman. Her brain short-circuited.

When Emma finally broke the kiss, she stared up at Regina, smiling brightly. Regina herself could feel a smile forming on her own face. “Hi.” Regina was so preoccupied with staring at Emma, that she almost missed the breathless whisper.

“Hi yourself.” They remained like that for a long time, just smiling at each other, before Regina pulled away. “I have to tell your mother.” She worried, a frown passing over her features.

“ _ What _ ?” It was Emma’s turn to frown. “No you don’t.”

“Not about  _ that _ .” Regina ran a hand through her hair, “About my identity, my father will show up looking for Regina and Zelena. Even if he didn’t, what would we tell her about our business with the duke?”

Emma sat up to look at Regina, “You’re right. Do you want me to come?”

Regina bit her lip, shifting her weight, “If it’s not too much trouble...”

Emma gave her a warm smile, scrambling to her feet next to Regina, “I wouldn’t have offered if it were.”

“We should probably get Zelena for this.” Regina offered Emma her arm, and they walked side by side to the garden, where Zelena was pruning a newly planted green apple tree.

“Zee.” Regina stopped a little ways away from where Zelena was staring intently at the tree. “It’s time.”

Zelena did not appear to be fazed by Regina’s statement or Emma’s presence. “Honestly Sis,  _ must _ you be so melodramatic?” The redhead huffed, rolling her eyes skyward. “Some of us are gardening.”

“I don’t think staring at a tree counts as gardening.” Emma sounded mildly amused by Zelena’s antics, although her face was a mask of neutrality.

“Well-” Regina couldn’t help but smirk at her sister’s red face and clearly flustered state, “Well I _ am _ doing important things, and- and  _ you’re _ one to talk! It does  _ not _ take that long to feed sheep!” At this point, every face in the garden was beet red.

“We are getting off topic.” Regina announced, trying desperately to sound unaffected. “You know why we’re here, Zee.”

“Yes, yes, I know.” Zelena waved her hand dismissively, “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t rather do some gardening.”

Regina simply couldn’t resist one last jab, “You enjoy  _ gardening _ as much as I enjoy farming.” She turned on her heels with a superior smirk, heading toward the back door.

As they stepped into the cool of the house, Regina’s cockiness diminished significantly. She let Emma take the lead as they trekked toward the kitchen, where they were greeted by Snow’s usual cheer.

“Emma, Graham, Marian! Why all this seriousness? Aren’t you excited to see the Duke?” When she was met with guilty silence, her smile began to slip away. “What’s this about? Emma?” The aforementioned blonde jumped when she heard her name called.

“Graham and Marian have something to tell you!” She actually  _ squeaked _ at her mother’s glare, and Regina felt the last of her confidence drain away.

“Well?” Snow looked deceptively innocent as she turned to face the two sisters. “Do either of you want to  _ tell _ me?” She planted her hands on her hips, and gave the two a stern glare.

“Well ma’am,” Zelena spoke demurely, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, “The thing is, well you see,”

“Spit it out.” Snow had clearly lost patience.

“OurnamesareReginaandZelena.” Zelena’s squeak was nearly unintelligible.

“I’m sorry sweetie, I think I heard you wrong.” Snow’s face was calm, but her voice was steadily rising in pitch. “I  _ thought _ I heard you say that you and Graham are actually the Ladies who ran away from court, one of which is being actively  _ hunted _ . I  _ thought _ I heard you say that I WAS ACTIVELY HARBORING FUGITIVES IN MY HOME.” Her usually pale face was red, and Regina was certain that her yelling would scare the sheep. Somehow, this thought spurred her into speaking.

“You heard correctly ma’am.” Regina was pleased that she had managed not to stutter.

“And  _ why _ was I not informed of this sooner?” Regina gulped.

“Well, you see ma’am, we weren’t sure whether or not our mother would send people for us, and we rather liked the anonymity.” Regina paused, fishing for words. “We really didn’t plan to stay for as long as we did.”

“So why did you stay?” Snow’s rage had drained out of her, leaving her slumped against the wooden counter top.

Regina couldn’t help the blush that colored her cheeks. “Well, it turned out that we really liked it here.”

Snow smiled knowingly. “ _ And _ you like my daughter.”

Regina felt herself flush even more, did  _ everyone _ know about that? “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

Snow’s smile threatened to split her face. “You two aren’t  _ nearly _ as subtle as you seem to think.” She looked at Emma fondly, “But I haven’t seen Emma this happy in a very long time, so you have my blessing.”

Meanwhile, Zelena had been staring out the window, she suddenly smiled before turning to her sister. “Well this has all been lovely and touching, but I have gardening to do. Regina can take this time to change into something less dirty.” She scampered outside without so much as a backwards glance, and Regina couldn’t help but frown. That was out of character. She peered out the window just in time to see Robin scamper behind a bush.  _ Ugh _ .

“Zelena is right.” Snow was staring her up and down critically. “You can borrow something of Emma’s until shearing season.” She turned to her daughter. “You need to change too, you can  _ not _ wear your sheep dress to dinner.” She narrowed her eyes appraisingly. “A bath for you too, I think.”

Emma released a long-suffering sigh. “Yes Mother.” She took Regina’s hand and dragged her upstairs, muttering, “Quick, before she thinks of something else.” As she passed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping up my story in true hasty Shakespearean style.

**Chapter 6**

Regina allowed herself to be dragged up the rickety stairs, idly wondering what Mary Margaret deemed to be a proper dinner dress. If it was pastel, she was going to throw herself out a window. Upon entering Emma’s room, the blonde released her hand in favor of digging through an antique looking trunk at the foot of her bed. Regina took the time to observe Emma’s room. She had never actually been in here.

A small bed was pushed into a corner, presumably to make room for the roughly-made wooden crib against the opposite wall. The only other piece of furniture in the room was an ancient rocking chair that flanked the crib. The heavy wool curtains had been pushed aside to allow the meager evening sun into the room.

Regina was pulled from her musings as Emma handed her a bundle of cloth, and promptly left the room. Regina gingerly unfolded the dress, which was admittedly rather good quality, setting it on the bed. It was not pastel, _Thank God_ , but a muted purple. She pulled it gingerly on, grimacing slightly at the awkward sleeve length.

Emma sashayed back into the room while Regina was fixing her hair.

“Find everything okay?” She hip checked Regina and stole the hair brush.

“You would be terrible at customer service.” Regina was _not_ amused. Not even slightly. The smile that she couldn’t wipe off her face was completely unrelated. Regina wished that Emma’s shit eating grin was more annoying.

“Whatever you say.”

“I do say, _Dear_.” It was a sad comeback and Regina knew it. “Does my hair look okay?”

“Duh.” Emma’s eye roll was not in the least bit reassuring. “You always look perfect.” She turned back to examining herself in the dirty mirror she had procured from her trunk. After messing slightly with her damp locks, she turned towards the door.

“Are you ready to go down?” She gestured vaguely, “Because I should really get Henry fed before dinner.”

“Sure.” Regina was not even slightly ready, but she wasn’t getting readier up here, so she swept over to the door, descending the stairs, she tried to carry herself like the princess she had once been. Emma was already occupied with Henry, so Regina decided to hover awkwardly in the kitchen.

And awkward it was, she and Snow had positioned themselves in opposite corners. She was pointedly looking out the window at the garden, while the older woman focused on her bubbling stew.

“This doesn't need to be awkward.” Regina almost jumped at the unexpected announcement, she should have known better than to think the nosy woman would let anything lie.

“I don't see why it shouldn't be.” Regina decided to have fun with the shepherdess, and hopefully stop this direction of conversation. “After all, I do want to sleep with your daughter.” She smirked superiorly before turning back to supervise Zelena’s ‘gardening’.

“I can think of worse people.”

“I can think of better people.”

Snow’s judgemental eyebrow was almost too much to take. “Like whom?”

“There are plenty of well-off nobles in this area, are there not?” She wasn't sure why she was arguing this point, but it suddenly seemed very important that Emma's mother put up more of a fight about their relationship.

“None of them would make her as happy.” Snow’s sympathy was grating.

“Why are you being so understanding? I've been lying to you about my identity for weeks! Weeks! There have been my mother's helpers in your home because of me! Your daughter lied to you because of me!” Regina drew back, slapping a hand over her mouth. Blood rushed to her face, and she glanced hesitantly towards the open door.

After a few beats, it became clear that neither Emma nor the rest of the household would come to investigate.

Snow broke the silence. “You make a good point.” She paused, and Regina felt suddenly apprehensive. Had she really just convinced girlfriend’s mother to dislike her? God, she was an idiot. “But those things don't matter.”

Regina almost fell over. Was the woman really that naive? “Your do-gooder mentality is slightly disturbing.”

“Being willing to forgive is not the same as forgetting.” Snow gave her a surprisingly threatening glare. “One wrong move and I’ll make every visit hell for you. And you will be visiting often.”

“Yes ma’am.” Regina’s words tumbled over each other in a race to escape her mouth as she cringed away, effectively cowed.

Snow gave a pleased hum and turned back to her cooking, whistling a tune as she stirred. Regina lingered for awhile in the corner, but eventually the awkward silence broke her resolve. She swept from the room, hastily muttering something about checking on Emma and Henry.

Apparently her discomfort showed, because Emma raised an eyebrow as she rushed into the sitting room.

“Not a word.” The brunette grumbled as she perched next to the blonde, clasping her hands together on her lap in an effort not to fidget.

“But you’ve intrigued me.” Emma remarked innocently.

“I think your mother just threatened me.” Regina made sure her voice was as monotone as possible, Emma didn’t need any extra reasons to laugh at her.

The blonde’s smile seemed to stretch from one ear to the other. “She scared you.”

“Did _not_.”

Their near argument was interrupted by the third person in the room. “Gramma scare?” Henry asked, eyes wide.

“No sweetie.” Regina answered too quickly, earning a smirk from Emma.

“Grandma is only scary to Gina and Grandpa.” Emma smiled down at her son, but glanced up at the older woman mischievously. “The rest of us have nothing to worry about.”

“M’kay.” The toddler appeared content with this explanation, and turned back to the small wooden horse that he was playing with.

“I can’t believe you told him that.” Regina couldn’t help but huff in frustration. Why was _everyone_ against her today?

“Hey,” Emma turned to look at her, placing a soothing hand on her knee. “Are you okay? You know he won’t remember this conversation in like a week right?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Regina waved her hand dismissively. “I’m just stressed.” Emma said nothing, only nodding in encouragement. “You understand that our living situation isn’t exactly _stable_ , and I’m not used to living like that. It will take some adjustment.”

Emma gave her a small smile. “I get it, but this doesn’t have to be permanent.”

The brunette couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her. “My mother won’t stop looking for Zelena and I.”

Emma frowned. “Your mother doesn’t control you.”

Emma’s naivety was exasperating. “She’s the most powerful woman in the kingdom, so I’m pretty sure she does.” The blonde rolled her eyes and Regina felt her annoyance grow. Could she not take _anything_ seriously? Her mother could _kill_ Emma.

“Well what about the Duke?”

“My father can’t do anything! He is-” Regina broke off her tirade as she processed what Emma had said. “You don’t mean my father do you?”

Emma’s only answer was a small nod.

“Emma, he’s dangerous.” Regina pleaded, “Promise me you won’t make a deal with him. His deals don’t benefit anyone but him.” She grasped the blonde’s hand tightly in her own. “Promise me.”

“Okay.” Emma conceded, running her free hand over her face. “You know him better than me anyway.”

“Thank you.” Regina’s relief bled into her voice, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to care. Emma said nothing, but gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Girls!” The comfortable silence was broken by Mary Margaret’s shout. “Would you collect Zelena please? Dinner's almost ready.”

“Okay Mom!” Emma bellowed back, before pushing herself off the couch and clomping towards the back door. She pulled the old wooden door wide open, and Regina couldn’t help but wince as the rusty hinges creaked. Emma was out in the garden by now, and Regina hurried to catch up.

“Zelena!” Emma called, speaking, ironically, with her indoor voice. Regina rounded the bend just in time to see her sister jump away from a man with light brown hair, Robin.

The redhead’s face was the same vibrant shade of her hair as she rounded on her sister and Emma. “ _What?_ ”

Emma was seemingly unfazed. “Dinner.” Se turned on her heel and walked back towards the house, grabbing Regina on her way past, who had been busy staring Robin down.

“I can’t believe she’s spending time with him!” Regina couldn’t help but kick a pebble in her frustration. Why did someone like _him_ deserve happiness while her future with Emma was still uncertain? It wasn’t fair. “She could do so much better!”

“Regina, you’re acting like you’re five.” Emma chided, “She’s an adult, she can make her own decisions.”

“Next you’re going to tell me that ‘life isn’t fair’ and I should just let it go.”

“Only if you keep acting like Henry when he skips his naps.”

Regina huffed in defeat and flounced into the house. “When will my father be here?”

“Any minute, he’s meeting David in the woods.” Regina almost jumped out of her skin at Snow’s sudden reply. Did she _really_ need to ambush them as soon as they entered the house? She sullenly followed the older woman to where the table had been set, gingerly taking her seat.

Emma alighted next to her on the bench, which became even more cramped than usual as Zelena slid on next to her. Sure enough, David tromped in a few seconds later, Henry directly behind. He gave the three women a friendly smile as Mary Margaret ushered him into the seat across the table.

Once they had all been seated, and eaten a sizable chunk of the meal, the hostess decided that the dinner conversation was lacking. “So David, how was your day?” The elderly brunette inquired cheerily.

“Oh it was fine.” The shepherd appeared to be content to return to his dinner, but his wife’s glare changed his mind. “The leaves are starting to turn a really nice shade. I think autumn will be really pretty this year.”

“Isn’t that lovely.” Snow was all smiles as she turned to Emma, who was staring at her plate and stirring her stew idly. “How are the sheep, sweetie?”

“Well enough,” Emma remarked, “I think it will storm soon, they were acting a bit skittish.”

Finally, the former duke seemed to have enough of the stilted conversation. “So what are you girls planning to do? I hardly think you’ll want to stay on this farm forever.”

Regina heaved a large sigh. Just the topic she’d hoped wouldn’t come up. “Hopefully Zelena will eventually return to court. Emma and I will probably settle down somewhere around here.” She glanced at said blonde for approval. Emma gave her an encouraging smile, and slipped her hand into Regina’s under the table.

“About that,” Henry shifted guiltily, “I received some news from court this morning.” He paused uneasily, but seemed to realize that the entire table was captivated. “It appears that Rumplestiltskin left this world entirely for another one, and in his absence Cora has repented. She sent a messenger to tell me that the throne was mine if I wanted it, and that she was going to live out the rest of her days at a monastery.” After finishing his hurried recitation of the news, the elderly Duke glued his eyes to the tabletop, and began fiddling with his napkin.

“Well,” Zelena spoke, sounding more confident than her expression suggested, “That means we can _all_ return to court.”

“I couldn’t ask Emma to leave her family,” Regina cut in sharply. “Besides, I have no love for court. We would be content to stay here.”

“I couldn’t ask you to leave _your_ family either,” Emma spoke up for the first time, making the table’s occupants whirl to face her.

“Em-” whatever Regina had been about to say was cut short by her father.

“I think I have the perfect solution.” The Duke smiled proudly, clearly pleased with himself. “The Lord of this fiefdom passed away very recently, leaving no heirs. You would be the perfect replacement, and it would easy to visit _both_ families that way.”

“That does sound very nice.” Regina admitted reluctantly, clearly a bit put out that she hadn’t thought of it herself. Emma, however, had no such qualms.

She ran around the table to throw her arms around the old man. “You’re a genius, Henry. Thank you.”

The Duke simply smiled and patted her back. “The pleasure was all mine.” And indeed, the arrangement brought all of them pleasure for _almost_ all of their long lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright it's been forever, and this chapter really isn't my best, but I wanted to move on to other things. If you're still reading this shitshow I commend your dedication and apologize for making you use it (School got really crazy really quickly). Constructive criticism is always appreciated!


End file.
